After 10 yrs…maybe baby?

After having our daughter we were content with just having one child. At a few points in the past decade, when I thought that I was pregnant again, I would feel so anxious and even sick until I found out for sure that I was not pregnant (and my husband felt the same). For the most part I had an easy pregnancy with no major issues. I had no reason to not have another child except for the fact that we were not ready.

I have taken birth control pills faithfully, but no other preventative methods were used. Being married with only one partner made this a nonissue. If I were to get pregnant again it would not be planned, but ultimately loved and accepted.

Well, I turned 35 earlier this year and the next month began having very strong early pregnancy symptoms. The idea of having another baby soon became real to me. The likelihood of a pregnancy was real because I had missed a pill during that cycle. The first thing that stood out to me was that my dog was extra clingy. He would not leave my side. The next day, I had very tender breasts which is a BIG sign. Within days I began getting nauseated and waking in the middle of the night trying not to be sick. The way things tasted and what I wanted to eat was different. The only smell/taste that made me instantly feel better was dill pickles. I felt different in my lower abdomen, a little more sensitive and fuller filling. I had days where I was overly tired. I took note of every sign and symptom (even some that I am not writing in this post), just so that I could keep track and compare to what I read/saw online about early pregnancy. I had not missed my period yet so I was paying close attention.

I had become quite excited about having another baby over the 2 weeks of symptoms. We picked out a boy’s name and changed the girl’s name we had chosen a long time ago to something better. I had started taking prenatal vitamins and calcium, exercising daily in a way that was safe for baby so that my body would be used to it, and also avoiding anything harmful (caffeine, medications, alcohol). I had continued to take the rest of my birth control pack because it wouldn’t change anything anyway, and would have the option to continue or stop once we knew for sure. I even let many people in my family know that it was a major possibility because I was just waiting for the test to tell me what I already knew.

With my daughter I did not notice early signs because I did not know what to look for, but I was nauseated  the day I was supposed to start my period. I became very tired all of the time and was sensitive to smells. All of the signs that I noticed with that pregnancy were after I had missed my period.

I took at home pregnancy tests every few days leading up to my period since there are tests for 6 days before your period. If I understand correctly that at home tests can’t pick up the hormone until after implantation (I may have that wrong, but from my understanding I will continue on with that train of thought).  When it came time for my period I started a day early and it was different that normal. The bleeding was different. The cramps were different/stronger. It all lasted a little longer than normal. My mood was different with hormones all out of sorts. I still took tests a week later and even two weeks later, and still no positive. I did not go to the doctor, but I think that I had a chemical pregnancy. Where the sperm and egg meet, start to fertilize, your body picks up on those chemical changes triggering symptoms, but doesn’t implant or fully implant and gets flushed out with a period. I read that some women don’t even notice depending on their symptoms/lack of symptoms, and type of period that they normally have. My period is very very light so subtle changes were definitely noticed.

Well, since whatever was happening in my uterus was no longer there and starting a new cycle my husband and I had a choice to make. To continue birth control or to stop them and try to have another baby. We decided it’s now or never so to go ahead and continue taking them until I got the ok from my doctor. I begrudgingly bought the new prescription and took the first one. I hated it and I hated myself for it. I was betraying myself and what I now knew what I wanted. I talked it over with my husband and knowing that I get regular checkups and am really in decent health he told me to stop taking them and that we would try…

It has now been a month and a half. I have gone through a period not sure of what to expect, because I have been taking hormonal birth control for about a decade. My body continues to feel different as I am getting the added hormones out of my system and that I am a bit older than during my first pregnancy. I have recently gone through another ovulation cycle and am in the 2 week wait time period again now for the third month. I do not feel anxious, sick, or scared as I had a few times over the past decade. I am falling more in love with the idea and so is my family. We even looked at baby clothes while out shopping on mother’s day. My family finally understands that me looking in the baby department isn’t about me getting overly invested too early, it is about looking ahead to see what is new to the prego/baby world (it has been a long time) and doing research on which stores are worth shopping at in the future for those much needed items.

A little update: We had planned to purchase a second vehicle after tax returns (finally one just for me) before the surprise pregnancy symptoms, but really started looking since there was the possibility of needing extra room and plenty of doctor appointments in the near future. I found a really great deal on a car locally and swooped in to scoop it up. It has plenty of room for a car seat and extra cargo. It looks and drives like new even if it does have a lot of miles on it. It is a Honda so as long as I take good care of it, it will last me a pretty long time. A safe car for this momma with one kid and planning for another…































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